Faker vs. Poser : More than the Same

25 09 2012

Chris Brady‘s [best-selling author of Launching a Leadership Revolution and Rascal] recent release through the Team system, “Depth or Psychiatry” struck a chord with me.  He has a statement of “Fakers vs Posers”.  The claim is one of “Fakers” will present a false self and make claims that they have achieved or gained something that they have not, while “Posers” are achievers in process, and have the look and mind-set to attain their goals.  This was brought to life on Saturday when I got a chance to take my son to an old fashion auction.  The items included garage stuff, farm equipment, and whole bunch of firearms.  Talk about a “man-sale”.  Tons of great stuff available, but also, tons of people watching. Everyone registers for a bidding number and talks the “big talk”- what everything is worth and how many items they will leave with.  As consistently as ever,  people act like they know something about something, but when the bidding starts, the “faker” shows the rest of the world he is missing the courage of his previous convictions.  His or her number never comes up in the bidding war.

Chris puts a stark difference between the words of faker and poser, and more important, the titles given to people.  As God would have it, Brady’s talk also aligns with the new release of Oliver DeMille‘s talk “The Culture of Freedom and How to Spread It!” [LIFE 62]. Oliver talks of 5 traits required to turn a nation toward freedom.  One of these traits is “sensus plenior” which means multiple senses.  This is the characteristic of looking at questions, objects, situations, and written words with multiple meanings not just one.  With my want to define both “poser” and “faker” only as the same, Chris raised my eyebrow to something significant different.

Let’s dive into these two titles and see where it leads us.

I first wanted to see how the world defines them.  Wikipedia defines “faker” as a charlatan, someone who fakes, and/or a person who makes deceitful pretenses.  This is a tough title to say the least, but we all seem to know a “faker” when we are around one.  John Eldridge, author of Wild at Heart, gives some insight by stating that every man’s deepest fear is to be exposed, to be found out, or to be discovered as an impostor and not really a man.  This brings back the meaning to the old 80’s song line by Billy Joel, “When that old stranger comes along” .  Some have a mask/false self that allows them to fit in with the “norm”, and as Chris Brady declares in Rascal, the “committee of They” determines the norm.   The problem is that no one knows who “they” are.  Most don’t want to feel like they are outside of the crowd.  But as I researched the data,  it became abundantly clear that the one that is faking knows for sure that they are playing a false game.  The “faker” appears to be self-imposed.  John Owen claims this mind-set  is like a strong castle with a treacherous party residing inside (ready to betray at the first opportunity possible).  The castle cannot be kept safe from the outside   enemy because the real problem is within.   If we are “fake” to our self, we will be eaten from within.  The “faker” knows it and labels themselves as what they have become.  Dale Carnegie states “when dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bustling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity”.

In contrast, Wikipedia defines “poser” as one governed not by the clothes, music, or make-up you wear, but rather by the state of mind and the conformity to their own beliefs.  This is an individual whom is original and self-guided, but gets labeled by others because they cannot see the individual’s vision.  Orrin Woodward once said that a man with a clear vision of his goals looks like a greyhound running after the rabbit around the track.  The only problem is that the spectators cannot see the rabbit.  The “poser” sees the world as it will be, but keeps their feet in reality, in order to get traction to move forward.  Sounds like we need more “posers” and less “fakers”.

Let’s do our part to turn the table toward “posers”.  Posing requires a vision, the clear image of an expected tomorrow.  As Lou Holtz proclaims, “every victory is won before the game is played”  It is about setting the expectation and adding courage.  Vince Poscente in the ant and the Elephant, puts it this way, “Make a commitment to positive dominant thoughts. Shift beliefs, attitudes, and truths so they are aligned with your vision. Envision having the goal rather than merely wanting the goal”.  Now take that commitment and focus on forward.  This is all mixed with a powerful dose of imagination.

Now, each step you take is like practice for the future and will be like “a drop in the bucket”.  With each drop,  the bucket gets closer to full which is the fulfillment of the vision.  Every great athlete or team makes their practices feel, look, and sound like the real thing.  “The more you sweat in practice, the less in bleed on the field” Marcus Lattrel.   Take a lesson from my son, Sam.  No matter the object, he can make his finger, his hand, a piece of wood, a stone, or any toy into a “real” race car.  Is he faking it or just planning for the future through what Einstein called, “the preview of life’s coming attraction”?  In my mind, Sam is a “poser” and you may need his level of imagination to see the truth.

Let’s end this with a great example from Gus Lee’s book, Courage.  –Major H. Norman Schwarzkopf was teaching a class at West Point during the author’s time as a cadet.  One day, the Major decided, “I will teach you the meaning of leadership and courage”.  The author knew that Major Schwarzkopf was a great man, and he was the academy’s most highly decorated combat veteran of the new controversial war in Vietnam.  He said ” Imagine that you and the troops for which you are responsible are on the international border. The enemy can cross it and strike at you without impunity.  But you can’t cross the border and  that order comes from the commander-in-chief.  Now every night, the enemy crosses the border to kill and wound your men, who are Vietnamese Airborne volunteers in your care.  And every night, you chase the enemy, but they escape at the border, where you stop, as you are ordered.  Here’s the question: when the enemy hits you again tonight, do you pursue them over the line?  Or do you follow orders and halt at the border?  The Major asked for questions.  Hands went up.  “If we cross it, will it start a new war?” No.  “If we cross the border, can we destroy the enemy?” Yes.  “If we cross it and get caught, are we in big trouble?” Absolutely. Your president will be very displeased. With you. Personally.  Gentlemen, [should you] STOP or GO?  The author and many others stated to “STOP” with the belief that one should ever disobey orders of the president.  A few wrote “GO” and the major smiled.  He said that there are two kinds of people in the world: leaders and careerists. Leaders have character. They act for what is right and would die for their men.  Careerists are self-centered, and self-absorbed.  They act out of selfishness and sacrifice their men for a promotion.  They save their skin instead of others’.  Careerists can’t lead.  Major finished by saying that leaders cross the border. Destroy the enemy to protect your men. Then they take the personal consequences to their career, knowing that they violated an order but acted for what is right. They feel pride in getting court-martialed and being reduced to private—

You choose–  Faker or Poser. Or as Major Schwarzkopf says, Careerist or Leader.

“Be such a man, and live such a life, that if every

man was such as you, and every life a life

like yours, this earth would be God’s paradise”

Phillips Brooks

God bless,  Aron

Steel the Mind and Tender the Heart.





Unified under a Creed

30 07 2012

Sometimes in the affairs of men there is a call for commitment outside of oneself.  A call that endows us to a Creator under a call.  Throughout history there always has stood men and women with causes that required more than a need for work ethic and persistence.  The strength of one is only improved by the strength of others going in the same direction.  When a group makes a decision to stop making a life and begin making a future for those they love, all the world adjusts and mountains can be moved.  If it be the will of God, we send this Creed out to a “few Stout-Hearted Men”.   The world depended upon them; They depended upon EACH OTHER.  God bless, Aron   — Steel the mind and Tender the heart

Band of Brothers Creed

I understand, that as a member of the Band of Brothers that I am part of a great tradition of honor, loyalty, service, unity, and winning.  I understand that, as a member of the Band of Brothers, that I have a great responsibility to uphold this tradition through my attitude, my words, and my actions.

I understand that the CULTURE of a team determines its success, destiny, and legacy.  As a member of the Band of Brothers, I commit to making our culture a winning culture, to be known around the world as what a unified team of champions should look like. As a member of the Band of Brothers, I pledge my SACRED HONOR to help BUILD and PROTECT this culture with my example, my character, and my commitment.

I Resolve….

To buy into the VISION that the BAND OF BROTHERS will be the team with best duplication and the best attitude.  I understand that the BAND OF BROTHERS’ goal is to become the TAPROOT of the TEAM, which is the BEST TEAM with the MOST LEADERS.  I fully understand that what we do now will determine our future for the next 20 years.  I understand that my goals, dreams, freedom, children’s future, country’s future, and ‘The LIFE I’ve always wanted’, all hang in the balance.

 To model the ‘HEART OF A CHAMPION’ through my attitude and my example.  I understand that there is a price for progress and I commit to pay it in full.  I commit to have the faith and courage necessary to believe in this cause and to deserve victory.  I understand that there are always 3 choices: give-in, give-up, or give it all you got.  I will always choose to GIVE IT ALL I’VE GOT.

To model the 4 E’s: Enthusiasm, Encouragement, Expectation, and Edification is attitude, words, and actions.  I understand that principle of ‘Zeal without knowledge is dangerous, but knowledge without zeal is dead”. I understand that as a member of the Band of Brothers, I need to be the thermostat and not the thermometer.  I will set the tone with ENTHUSIASM at all times, including every meeting I attend.  I will ENCOURAGE through acceptance, approval, and appreciation, and to never criticize, condemn, or complain.  I will work to adopt a NO NEGATIVE philosophy in my life and take it everywhere I go. I understand how important EXPECTATION is , and I will work to set a positive, winning EXPECTATION. I will be the example in expecting excellence, but never judge others.  I understand the power of EDIFICATION.  I will learn to speak all the good I can of others to their face, from stage and behind their back.  I will make a point to honestly edify others, especially my leaders with every chance I get.

To be the BEST STUDENT I can be by mastering the Team Tools, the Team System, and the Top 5 books.  No team will know, use, or promote the Team tools, the Team system, the Top 5 books, better that the Band of Brothers.  I know this begins with me.  I will be w walking, talking CD listening to and promoting machine.  I will work to listen, to know, and to promote the Team packs first, the Team system second, and the Life material third.  I understand how important people skills are and I will be ONE OF THE BEST AT DEALING WITH PEOPLE by reading the Top 5 books on a regular basis.

To master the BASICS of the 5 Step Pattern, Team Approach, Power Player, and Game-Planning.  I understand that DEPTH builds POSTURE AND BELIEF and I will never forget it!  I will strive to get in action and to master the 5 step pattern.  I commit to learning and practicing the methods of TEAM APPROACH.  I understand that POWER PLAYER has always been and will always be our play.  I know now that Power Player is my goal.  I know that it is important to have a Game-Plan and to Keep Score.  I understand, that in order to use a coach effectively, that I need to be showing plans and will work diligently to do so.  If I am showing 15 plans a month, I will seek out my coach with a HUMBLE and a HUNGRY attitude.  I will KEEP SCORE by drawing out my team and having it ready for my coach when we get together.  I understand that my team’s goal is to go 10 deep, and I commit to playing my part to hit this goal.

To be a PROFESSIONAL in all I do, which includes attitude, words, dress, and deeds.  I understand that 100% of what I do wrong and 50% of what I do right will be duplicated.  I realize that ATTITUDE MATTERS and resolve to have a great one everywhere I go, but at the time, to have GRACE for others who might be having a bad day.  I will dress sharp for all house plans, open meetings, and seminars.  I understand that 50% of success is just showing up, and therefore, I will strive to go to everything I qualify for: opens, challenge groups, seminars, leaderships, and promotions.  I will try my best to come early, sit as close to the front as possible, and stay late.  I will be the first to volunteer and encourage others to volunteer anytime the TEAM calls on the Band of Brothers, because I realize that this is my team too.  I live the principle of service before self.  I understand that not everyone is going to do what I’m willing to do, but nobody will ever do what I’m not willing to do.

To always have TEAM PRIDE: first for the TEAM, then for the Band of Brothers, and third for my division of the Band of Brothers.  I understand that LOYALTY and UNITY matter.  I will be the LOUDEST and the most ENTHUSIASTIC person at every event, and especially anytime the Band of Brothers or any individual Band of Brother is speaking,  recognized, or mentioned from stage.  I will have the courage to be the first to cheer and the last to stop.  I know that I am part of a very rare ‘Fellowship of the Heart’, and will not take this for granted.

To build and maintain SPEED OF TRUST with my leader and with my team.  This starts and end with LOVE, CHARACTER, AND GRACE.  I understand that character is doing the right thing despite the inconvenience, feeling, fear, or consequence.  I will strive to have my yes, always mean yes, and my no, to always mean no.  I will take pride in having a great speed of trust in all areas of my life including, but not limited to : words, respect, time, and money.  I will resolve any conflict with courage and grace anytime I see or sense a problem.

To build a ‘BATTLE CRY’ culture.  I understand the principle of ‘Iron sharpens Iron’ and therefore, I will strive to listen to Team Talks on my EBC, leave Team Talks, and promote Team Talk on a regular basis.

Lastly, I resolve to be one the many who are going to BUILD and PROTECT this winning BAND OF BROTHERS CULTURE.  I understand that it only takes a few Stout-Hearted men and women, with courage, commitment, and passion, to lead to 10,000 more.  I pledge to be a true TEAM-PLAYER, to have ENDURANCE when it gets tough, to understand the power of DUPLICATION & MOMENTUM, and to always be the EXAMPLE.  I will do everything in my power, God willing, to honor God, to serve my fellow-man, and to build and protect a culture that all the BAND OF BROTHERS can be proud of!!  THE BAND OF BROTHERS lead the way…..

“Give me some men

Who are Stout-Hearted Men

Who will fight for the right they adore.

Start me with ten

Who are Stout-Hearted Men

And I’ll soon give you ten thousand more.

Shoulder to shoulder, and bolder and bolder,

They grow as they go to the fore….





Courage in LIFE – continued….

12 11 2011

For full article by Bill Lewis, click on: Bill Lewis/Team/Life

In the shadow of Veterans’ Day, we look toward and remember the sacrifices of men and women throughout history whom protected the innocent with their lives and sacred honor.  You will see courage come through the story of Master Sergeant Benavidez which I retold recently or the above picture of the troops storming Normandy.  But it is greatly needed today on the battlefield of the American mind and heart!

Bill Lewis, co-founder of LIFE, published a blog about the state of integrity and courage in today’s news.  It is a must read for all Americans.  Follow his link on the right of this page to ‘What has happened to America’s character.  It brings the value of courage and fear face-to-face with reality.  I compel you, also, to listen to LLR  509 – The Churchill Factor by Kirk Birtles, because Kirk expresses how to overcome the issues in war for the minds of men.  I will allow you to hear it for yourself, but he talks about it in a conversation with Orrin Woodward about the fear of man.  Orrin had told Kirk that he fears no man.  If only North American men could develop the thoughts Orrin expressed to Kirk and back them through Christian foundations, where would we be?  Men should look to protect the innocent and expose the wrongs. The leadership fell apart on a university campus secondary to a lack of courage to do what is right.

I recently heard a pastor speak on this issue of courage.  He gave four points to improving our courage.

1)  Courage is Purpose Driven.  If asked of your purpose, how would you answer?  Would you state it boldly and it is seen in your eyes as truth? Are you taking each step with specific intent? As a Christian man or woman, do you use every moment to glorify God?  Life is all about the line between your purpose-filled goal and where you are right now.   We each have the ability to control distractions that make curves in the line.

2)  Courage is Persistent.  “In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials” I Peter 1:6.  Do you stop at trials?  Is it a ‘no matter what’ or is it a ‘if only’?  Can you be called ‘tenacious’?  We will make endurance our ally.  I would encourage each of you to listen to ‘Rascal‘ by Chris Brady.   It can be found attached to the back cover of Brady’s book with the same title.

3)  Courage is Prepared to Die or Live.  There is joy in serving.  Not just jumping on the hand grenade for your comrades, but living a life of example for them.  We should be always doing our homework: listening to experience through seminars or CD’s and challenging our assumptions through books.  Working out mentally and physically for our time when it arrives.

4)  Courage is Pervasively Contagious.  You are the best motivation for your family, team, or associates.  Compel people to be courageous and integrity-filled through your actions.  It is said that true leadership is found in the front.  As you proceed forward, others will follow.

Bill Lewis took the time to share his heart on the current issues plaguing character.  But what is even more powerful is Bill’s courageous walk in LIFE and modeling the correct behaviors in all of his 8 F’s. He knows we can change our expected future only with courage.  Thanks, Bill!

God bless, Aron








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